being second

I've been thinking a lot about being second - as in, being the second child.  I've always thought that being the first born had all the advantages: you get to do everything first, you have those first few years alone without a sibling to soak up all the parental energy, you get to be the boss (to this day, I still boss my sister around), and you don't have to wear hand-me-downs.  The discovery of parenthood and all that it brings with it is mind blowing.  Awe, amazement, excitement, wonder, expectation, marvel, beauty, discovery...fear, worry, and even some guilt.  Being first, you are the center of all of that.

When Charlie was first born, I was surprised that I felt the same awe in his newness as I did when Rowan was born.  It wasn't less....no, not less at all.  In fact, it was maybe even more.  You have the experience, you know the type of parent you want to be, and you are well aware that babies are strong and resilient.  You get relish in their littleness and really soak it in.  This was especially true for me since I knew Charlie was my last baby.  He gets watched, cuddled and carried just as much as his sister did.  I don't sweat the small stuff (it's somehow okay for him to walk around with his pacifier on those days he is sick or just out of sorts and I don't freak out if when I find him eating a candy cane at 18 months old) and I have so much more patience.  I am in constant amazement of him - and am discovering just as much about parenting (and myself) as I did the first time around.  I didn't know there was so much to learn!  And then, he starts out having a sister.  An attentive, loving, caring, nurturing, sweet sister.  Yes, there is something very special about being the second born. 

Over these last few months, I have watched as the relationship between Rowan and Charlie has become magical.  When I say magical, I really mean magical.  They have something special that exists between them and I hope it lasts forever.  They way they play, the way Rowan holds Charlie when he is sad, how excited Charlie is to see Rowan when we pick her up from school, the special & unique way they communicate with each other, the way he looks up to her and the way she protects him...it's different than anything I could give to either of them.  I know the value of a sibling - I have a sister and she part of me, part of who I am and who I have become.  She is even part of me as a parent.  Our relationship is priceless and means more to me than I can explain.  Watching your kids develop that relationship is incredible...it brings me comfort, amazes me, and warms my heart.

The funny thing is that I never felt a need to have a second kid to provide a sibling for Rowan.  I wanted a second child for me, for us...that's always what I imagined when I thought about having a family.  Now that I have two kids and have watched them grow together, I can't imagine not giving Rowan the gift of a brother.  No, I can't imagine that at all.  And that second kid, in many ways, is a first too.  He's a gift to this family and with him, we are complete.

the day they met