One year ago this very moment, I had a 3 hour old baby. He hadn't even had his newborn exam yet. The four of us were cuddled up in our bed seeing him for the first time. I was unbelievably happy, thankful, excited, relived. So many emotions and feelings. I'll never forget those moments. On days like this, I wish that I could jump back in time for a few minutes just to feel it all again. The intensity...the excitement...the miracle. I don't want to go back there and re-live the past year, but I do want to stop in and visit. Wouldn't that be nice? I will always have the memories and those are good...oh so good.
The truth is, I dread the first birthday. While I like celebrating the first year of his life, I find it to be bittersweet. How has a year already gone by? I feel like there are things that I have already forgotten and I try desperately to hold to tight to right now - how he smells, the feel of the sweet little fingers grabbing mine, the beautiful sounds he makes. I have tears in my eyes...happy tears, yes...but tears. And yes, watching them grow up is the point of it all - and it does keep getting better. But, there is nothing like a sweet newborn little baby - it only lasts a moment. So, I'm taking this day to remember all those sweet little moments of his life...and to enjoy the sweet moments of this day.
Oh little Charlie, my birthday boy, what an amazing addition to my life. It's your first birthday my little guy! Some of the things we love about you:
- your cuddles - how you snuggle into my arms
- your inquisitive nature - always exploring quietly
- those amazing blue eyes
- how you start moving your hands the minute you hear music
- the love you have for you sister
- your beautiful laugh
- watching you become aware of the world around you in such a serene way
- how you love to eat dirt by the handful
- the way you still fall asleep on my chest
- your "crawl - scoot"
- your love of the stairs - up and down all day long...but, my favorite part is how you'll go up to the first stair and call for us to come and "spot" you.
- the way you light up and laugh when I push you high on the swing
- how, when you see something new, you'll reach for it very slowly - as if you aren't so sure its a good idea to touch it or pick it up.
- how you live entirely in the present moment
And with that, my friends, I leave you - I'm off spend the day with my boy. How lucky I am...
Your proud Mom has tears in her eyes.
ReplyDeleteI remember reliving the births of my children and those feelings present themselves for a brief moment..now I also can see them in you and your children.
You two are such great parents.. I wish more were that way..